December 8th, 2010

I am an extremely cranky bear waking up at 4:45am now that I sleep and love sleeping. I never appreciated sleep so much. Work is starting to get on my nerves. Some people in my office don't know how to take a hint and not knock on my door 10 times a day to shoot the shit. I'm trying to pretend to do work, don't blow my cover. I'm really trying to put my hours at work and work the full day. I am most productive when no one is here but as soon as it hits 10am I start to slack off. I don't know why. I have my one year check up after work today. All will be well, I just know it. You can't spend your life worrying about "what if". I am slowly learning that. It is easier said than done but I am trying.

Yesterday seemed to drag on forever because I couldn't talk to Jaimie all day. She couldn't text at work so without her the day felt like an eternity. I ended up leaving work at just before 3pm and got home in great time. As soon as I walked in the door the suit came off and then got into bed and watched Law & Order :SVU for 3 or 4 hours. I think I've seen every episode of that show except for the new ones.

I heard a new John Mayer song and I immediately think of Jaimie. "Face To Call Home" the song is called. Isn't that what everyone is looking for. Home isn't necessarily a place but a person who makes you feel at home. It is a beautiful feeling. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I want to do all I can for her all the time. You shouldn't feel like you need someone else to complete you. You should feel complete on your own but she makes me feel like I am all she will never need. I feel like me when I am with her. That is an amazing feeling. As cliche as this will sound, it feels good to love and be loved and sometimes that is all you need to get through the day.

Enjoy your day.
Nicholas