I am happy to say that on Friday I found out that my Leukemia is in remission. What a huge relief for myself and everyone who has been there for me these last few months and my whole life. I am not completely out of the woods yet. We still have 3-4 months of chemo left to make sure everything is gone but this is an amazing step forward. I feel like I can finally start to live again and make long term plans.
I had my first dream last night of the baby. I've known of his existence since October but last night was the first night I had an actual dream about him. I woke up completely confused and anxious, almost in a panic. I thought I had convinced myself that I was ready for him to be here, ready to be a Father. Maybe I'm not. I've been talking a lot more with Kristin and she always talks of the pregnancy in weeks. 25 weeks out of 40. When I actually put it in perspective and realize she is 6 months pregnant I start to freak out. I guess I didn't realize how close we are to him being here. We have finally decided on a name, we think. We have to start preparing 2 bed rooms, 2 cars and pretty much 2 of everything. I don't even know where I will be living in 3 months when the lease is up on my rental let alone what color his walls should be or if he should have a Winnie the Pooh crib set. I think throughout this whole process I did step up and put on a good face, but thats easy to do do when you have 9 months, or 40 weeks to prepare. When you have less than 3 months now or 15 weeks to go, I don't think I am ready for all this to happen.
Nick
